Grief Is Like a Gel Water Bead: How Kids’ Feelings Resurface
Grief Is Like a Gel Water Bead: How Kids’ Feelings Resurface
Children don’t always say they’re grieving—but grief hides beneath the surface and swells back up, just like gel water beads in the rain.
For: Parents, grandparents, caregivers of grieving kids
What you’ll learn: Why grief resurfaces unexpectedly + how to respond
Read time: 6 minutes
Intro
Grief is difficult to explain—most children won’t even use the word grief. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling it. In fact, grief has a way of resurfacing when we least expect it, much like the gel water beads kids play with. This story offers a powerful picture of how children’s grief can reappear, and what you can do when it does.
What’s Going On Under the Surface
Months ago, my kids and their friends were playing with gel water beads—the kind that look like tiny BBs when dry and expand when soaked in water. They tossed them across the driveway, then left them to dry in the sun. Soon, they vanished, out of sight and out of mind.
Weeks later, a heavy rain came. To my surprise, the beads had rehydrated and filled the cracks in the driveway. They’d been there all along, invisible until the right conditions brought them back.
Children’s grief works in the same way. It may appear hidden, but the feelings remain—waiting for the right trigger to resurface.
Signs You Might Notice
Anger or irritation around traditions that feel “different” now
Sadness triggered by a holiday, event, or milestone
Explosive reactions that seem out of proportion
A Gentle Framework You Can Use Today
Grief isn’t gone just because your child isn’t talking about it. Like the beads swelling in the rain, feelings reappear when life’s moments touch the cracks left by loss.
Notice the triggers. Holidays, sports seasons, or family traditions often bring grief back to the surface.
Normalize the waves. Let your child know it’s okay for feelings to reappear, even after time has passed.
Offer steady presence. Sit with their sadness, irritation, or anger without rushing it away.
Use tools for expression. Journals, drawings, or rituals give kids safe ways to release what’s swelling inside.
Conversation Script
You: “I noticed you seemed upset about Halloween this year. Do you miss the way Mom made your costumes?”
Child: “Yeah. It’s not the same.”
You: “I miss it too. Want to draw or write about your favorite costume she made?”
Common Questions
Try This Now
Want to understand how your child processes grief?
👉 Take the free Grief Storm Quiz to discover their storm type. You’ll unlock parenting tools that match your child’s personality and learn how to support them when their grief resurfaces.
Resources & References
About Dr. Annette
I’m Dr. Annette Athy, PhD—grief specialist and mom of four. I help parents navigate their children’s grief storms with compassion and practical tools. Want more gentle guidance? Subscribe here.
